The Girl With No Face

p.s. should I sell my ticket?

…

I’m going to her concert.. YES .. i DID manage to get Fairouz concert tickets. I am fabulous. haha jk .. I almost didnt.

 the most person I want to take with me to this concert is my June. She appreciates Fairouz on levels no one understands. (I’m right now listening to a song she told me to listen to and I’m falling in love with it: بعدك على بالي)

Unfortunately, Lovely June is in Lovely London. but, I promise you june! this blog as my witness, you and I WILL go to one of Fairouz’s concerts together one day!!!!!!..

My best friend A also LOVES fairouz, in fact, she’s the person who got me into that music.

but my love for Fairouz has roots deeper than that. When I was younger, Every morning my mum would play fairouz and Majda al Roumi all the way from Adleya to Isa town (where we went to school for a few years). so now, when i listen to her music (some songs more than others) I get funny carefree feelings. I feel 5 years old again and happy =D

there is no point of this post.

p.s. anyone willing to pay 400 dinars for the ticket I have, I am willing to sell (need to pay off my credit card) + I am going to see the concert again with June one day.. so I can afford to miss this one.

Enjoy the song I’m infatuated with: 

I’m kinda psychotic.. tiesto then fairouz.. damn man!! oh and June. For the record, no pressure to comment=P I know you love me.

I suppOse .. you’ve figured out that I watched “Enchanted”

If you’re cynical like my sister is, don’t watch it.. watch it with an open mind

you take them for granted these little things I crave.

I want to feel human..

I will attempt to define this term the way it translates in my head

Human Touch. 

I was watching once a girls walking with a guy, they went through a door, the guy held the door open for her, then he supported her by holding the small of her back as if he were pushing her through. Its just an excuse to touch her and to show affection. I would settle for a pat on the back.

growing up, boys fall in love with girls.

I’ve always been a fan of the roof of the house. One day, when I was 13, I was enjoying the sunset on the roof of our house when I Started hearing voices. I tracked down the side of the house where the sound was coming from. When I stood right over the balcony, I could hear that it was my 9 year old sister with the 8 year old neighbour’s boy talking. I couldnt help but eavesdrop. When i could finally figure out what they were saying, it turns out that the little neighbour’s boy was confessing his feelings of love towards my little sister. I later found out that he had also given her a love letter. cute right?

a girl getting flowers.

My Older sister once walked into her bedroom on her birthday and found 8 bouquets of flowers all around her room from 8 different people.  She was so happy and she spent the whole rest of the day with a stupid smile on her face. She must’ve felt SO loved.

being worried about and cared for when sick.

anyone at my house gets a cold, stomach flu, the flu, a wound.. whatever.. they either get the constant attention of my mother or they’d be rushed to the emergency room. except me. It never shows how sick I am when I’m sick. I think my family think I’m faking it. The only time in my memory I’d ever been rushed to the emergency room was a few weeks back when I passed out. I don’t want your pitty, I’m just telling the story.

being called pretty.

I remember one day when I was maybe 11, my little sister (7 yrs old) and I were with my mama at the Sheraton complex. I was always attracted to the smell coming out of ‘the body shop’. I mean who wasn’t? so my sister and I walked into the body shop and started looking around and smelling soaps when, all of a sudden, I hear a man’s voice behind me saying “YOu’re Gonna be a SUPER STAR”. So i turn around and this huge good looking african American man was standing there looking down at my little sister. I stand next to her and he continues “YOU”RE SO beautiful. You’re definitely going to be a super star!!”. My little sister then looks up at me standing on her right and thats when the man noticed I was there. He looks at me and I say “She’s my sister” (always the protective sister whose also fishing for compliments). He looks at my sister then back at me and says “You’re also pretty, but SHE’S going to be a SUPER STAR”

I don’t understand why I can’t ever forget these incidents. For a person who can never remember anything, I certainly hold on to the shit that brings me down. Its wrong. I mean, Yeah i get it. I couldn’t be blamed as a kid that I was jealous of my sisters growing up. But I should LET THESE THINGS GO.

I always had that Cinderella, sleeping beauty crap in my head. I always thought that ONE day, a beautiful prince charming would fall in love with me and see me as something beautiful and PERFECT. boy am I DISAPPOINTED!!

In the last few years, I’ve hated looking in the mirror. being fat and knowing how hideous I was made me feel worthless. Having beautiful people around me all the time reminding me of what I’m not made it all even worse. It would be normal if I lived in a house full of ugly people. But I don’t.

I want someone to give me that McDreamy look. or that McSteamy one. I WANT someone to stutter when they talk to me because they’re so intimidated by my beauty. I want that confidence where I can ask any person for anything and be SURE that they’ll be happy to oblige. I want to feel worth something and have everyone around me feel the same about me.

is this what they call natural selection?

P.s. Watched ‘The mirror has two faces’ last night on ShowMovies. I can relate. I wish I didn’t, but do.

i’ve had the worst couple of days..
i’m on my period.
i’ve come down with the flu.
i’ve been pissy with people and fighting with my friends left and right.
crying for no reason.

one good thing in the last couple of days: we put up my friends Christmas tree.

we spent a fortune the last couple of days buying really really funky tree ornaments. so now we see if it pays off.

here’s to living life to the fullest.

here’s to love.

here’s to friends.

here’s to getting drunk and confessing your deepest darkest secrets.

here’s to a song that reminds me of all that.

no promises - Shayne Ward

can itchiness be psychological? i keep scratching my legs and arms and i swear to god I’m clean!

Hello beautiful people,

i know its been like one day, but i missed you!!! i had the longest day yesterday that it felt like two days:)

I got back from Dubai last night. and the test went OK.. they said they’ll let us know the results in “three to four business days”.

I LOVED the place. the Unilever building is brand new, all glass, colorful and everyone was walking around there in jeans and sneakers. haha .. this is like my dream place to work in. I DIDN’T KNOW IT EXISTED

anyway, so I went to Ibn Battuta afterwards and bought two pairs of shoes. i did not have energy to do anything else.. but i’m totally in love with my new shoes

ok, i can’t exactly say that yesterday went perfect, because i did, kinda, get lost while trying to get to the place and was late, but it turned out they gave me the wrong map. so it was their fault really. And i did end up losing my phone at the airport. but i had a blast.

oh and by the way, if anyone was interested in that lonelygirl15 crap, well, the jig is up. it was a hoax. there’s this great artical in the L.A. Times that reveals the real story

hmm, you noticed the effect of 8 hours in Dubai? I’m in such a good mood!!! Imagine me living there. haha

love y’all..

So there’s this phenomenon on Youtube and its just kept me thinking for a couple of days.
this Girl, bree, aka lonelygirl15 has like a video blog.

Now, this is completely normal, right? nothing strange about it. but i feel like this:

“For some reason, i find myself watching these videos. I have no idea why. Honestly i have a life and i enjoy it. I am only a small time youtuber, But why the hell do i watch these videos?”

which is how most people watching bree’s vlog feel.

Anyway, her story’s like this. she’s home schooled because her parents are religious. I personally don’t see what the link is, but in one of her videos she was talking about how she went to school once and she described her classroom by saying that it had a door in the front and a door in the back. she talked about how the kids would go in and out from the back door. her parents then found out about that and they took her out of school. But that just sounds like they’re waaaay too protective of her.

Ok ok!! i know its corny and everything. but i promise, it gets better.

so she keeps talking about her best friend Daniel a.k.a. DanielBeast. now this Daniel person is mostly talked about in the beginning, because he supposedly set up her account and teaches her how to edit her videos and stuff. but then when people start asking her to see him, she catches him on camera. so after that, it got normal to see daniel in the background, reading on her bed. (notice that her parents are religious and a boy is in her room). whatever, right? ok anyway, so people keep saying that Daniel looks Jewish and that bree isn’t. then in one of her videos she talks about how he told her he liked her. you know, regular boy girl stuff.

whats weird about this girl is that she keeps talking about how religious she is and she’s going to her religion’s summer camp and this ceremony that she’s been chosen to participate in. but she never mentioned what her religion actually is.

ok, so this is when it got interesting. Last night, i watched this video where’s she’s trying to force daniel to tell her something.

so forget the whole conversation they’re having and fast forward to minute 1:52 and pause it. look at the picture on the wall. and the candles underneath the picture which daniel is not allowed to light. so according to alot of people’s comments, its a picture of Aleister Crowley ..

if you are not sure, click here for a better view.

to be honest, when i read his name, i didn’t know who the hell Aleister Crowley was, and when i read the comments, it seemed that people thought he was a “Satanist” and was “Hitler’s personal advisor on the occult”. isn’t that interesting??

So then I turned to my trusty Wiki, it turned out that he created this religion called Thelema. And he wrote this book called “The Book of the Law” ..
also, Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin has largest personal collection of Aleister Crowley and you’d be surprized how many rockers are among his followers.

the weirdest thing about this dude is umm everthing. the first sentence in Wiki was

“was an occultist, Freemason, prolific writer, mystic, hedonist, and sexual revolutionary.”

So after the OOhing and the AAhing, people started thinking that she’s a fake. like its a hoax or something, you know, “blaire witch project” kinda thing. And then all the people out there started talking about how the lighting looks professional, and how the editing is pro as well.

i dunno, to be honest, it’d be cool if it were real. and creepy.
In one video, she talks about this ceremony that she’ll participate in. she talks about all these preperations that she has to do. and its just creepy.

but i still don’t get why i keep going back to watch her videos .. grrr!!!