The Girl With No Face

.. i start spending more time online than offline.

.. i start referring to blog posts as “this guy/girl said .. ” when i have real life conversations with people..

.. i spend the day in bed and the night out and about.

.. i know the exact release date of the first (and next) episode of the new season of “lost”, “desperate housewives”, “prison break”, “grey’s anatomy” and “one tree hill”.

.. i go to the dvd shop and i can’t find a movie i haven’t watched.

.. i read someone’s blog and i figure out who they are (then i later find out that they’ve figured out who i am).

.. in a certain situation, i say “oh, this is like that episode of friends where Joey says ..”

.. People i barely know come up to me and tell me that i’m moody!

.. my internet speed slows down, i call batelco and yell at them till the speed comes back up.

.. after calling batelco from my phone a couple of times to yell at them, they start dodging my phone calls. (so i call from another number) *muahaha*

.. i decide to have a cigarette two minutes before Fajr prayer. “its called speed smoking”

.. i’m old enough to “catch up” with “old friends”.

.. i’m young enough to not really know what i wanna do in life.

there’s like no way to stop it from happening!! there’s no where you can go to run away from it!! ramadan starts whether you like it or not!!

what is it about Ramadan that feels hypocritical to me?
I’ve always thought that the whole point of Ramadan is to have more compassion and empathy for the poor and the starving, and this whole compassion thing is ment to make people be more humble which will lead them to be more generous, which will result in ending poverty. (i figured THAT is the reason zakaa is given after ramadan — or am i wrong?).

another reason why i think Ramadan is necessary is because its a sort of detox. I once went to this health spa thing somewhere in czech, and part of their treatment would be to fast one whole day a week. i mean 24 hours. you can only drink water. they say its very good for the body to rid of all the toxins or whatever the bad crap in your body is called.

there’s also this treatment, my Bulgarian friend told me about, for people who have rashes or some kinds of diabetes where the patient gets to fast for like 12 days or something .. apparently it cures.

i get it .. i get it .. fasting is good. ramadan is good. but people have gotten it all wrong. its strange to me when i see people be more religious in ramadan (its funny cause everytime i ask this question, my sister sarcastically says: don’t you get it? God only watches them in ramadan!!) people who never pray, start praying, and they start giving you all this advice.

ok ok.. i’ll try not to judge.

the things i HATE about ramadan are the fact that there’s like nothing to do, also that there’s this necessity to buy clothes even if there’s nothing decent to buy, that the only thing to do is to go to these “tent” thingies where people eat (i dunno what else they do, i’ve never been), also, if you have a party you’ll be condemned to the deepest pits of hell (or so people tell me!!).. BUT .. the thing that gets me, the thing that pisses the shit out of me, the absolute thing i canNOT stand, is the stuff on TV. the stupid STUPID bad acting and bad directing!! the MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of tv shows. and somehow, by some miracle, everyone i know watches every single one of these shows and they seem to be the only thing anyone ever ever ever talks about in Ramadan.

I’m pissed and hungry.

When i was sixteen, i met a boy.
he became my best friend. he was my best friend. he was the only person who understood me.
the only person who saw me for the person i am.

our friendship turned into something deeper.
at first, we carried this thing inside. we didn’t tell eachother. but we did in the end, and it was so innoccent.
We were so wrong for eachother. we were so young. my friends disapproved. they were scared for me … but I was young, stupid and in Love.

I know its stupid. i know its “puppy love”. but it was so real. to us, that was it.
every time i saw him, i was so nervous and shy. butterflies. weak knees.
everytime i saw him, everything stood still. I’m not making this up. It just felt like everything faded away.

we had a song. it was “no one else comes close” by Joe. Its the most beautiful song. it was our song. Ours only.

- “why? why tonight??”
- “cuz god knows when the fuck and if the fuck there will be a next time that i talk to you!”
- “what are you talking about?”
- “i just really needed to tell you something. I Love You.”
- “why tonight?”
- “I just really needed you to hear it tonight. I Love You.”
- “I love you back.”
- “I love you more than you know.”

Two nights later i finally slept. I woke up feeling new. i spent the day shopping. then got home and took a nap. My friend called me. woke me up.

i have my period, and i’m gonna smack in the face anyone who opposes anything i say today. any comment has to be in agreement with what i say or else i will hunt you down and cut you up painfully with a blunt knife then burn you with acid.

So, there’s this bench, by the sea, in budaya. my friends and i go there to hang out and talk and whatever. so picture this: you’re sitting on a bench at 9 p.m. with your friends, about to light a fucking cigarette, when all of a sudden, this car drives up with four obnoxious STUPID bahraini boys inside and they park a meter and a half away from you, BLOCKING Your car and start throwing remarks at you.

and you know these phrases they use right? like when they make fun of you, or they start talking about what you’re wearing. or commenting on whose pretty or whatever.

i absolutely don’t understand why they say these things. is it just to fucking annoy us? or maybe i dunno, maybe its logical in their tiny little brains that we’ll fall head over heals in love with them when they comment about what i’m wearing?? its like when guys see a girl and they make these sounds with their car, i dunno like they’re showing you that their car makes a loud engine noise. do they think i’m gonna want him to TAKE ME NOW, ON THE PAVEMENT, YOU’RE SO SEXY WITH YOUR LOUD FUCKING ENGINE. YOUR CAR IS HOT. IT MAKES ME WANT YOU!! WOW! ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

So anyway, back to the scenario, so you’re sitting there, trying to pretend like you don’t notice them, which is impossible cuz they’re like * * THIS FAR AWAY, and they just refuse to go away.

so the logical next step is to get in your car and go away right? .. WRONG!! NOT TODAY!! NOT ON THE FIRST DAY OF MY PERIOD!!!

i asked them if they wanted something, the dude with the plastic plate (lol) with food in it and a plastic fork said: ga3deen nakil (which means we’re eating) .. so what does yours truly do when he says this? she dials 999. i gave them the car number and kind and when they heard me call the police, they left.

so tell me, what did we learn from our story today?

actually, either batelco, or one of my neighbours!!!!!
SOMEONE IS STEALIN MY FUCKIN INTERNET CREDIT LIMIT!!!!!!!!!
i bet its one of my obnoxious neighbours kids DOWNLOADING PORN!!!!!!!!!!!

or its batelco’s system fucking up or something…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! die batelco DIE ..

even if batelco didn’t fuck this up,, there r many many more fuck ups to come!! so they must die..

its good that we see eye to eye *looking up at the ceiling and winking*

.. that I’m REALLY excited that I’m hitting 4 digits??

Hello beautiful people,

i know its been like one day, but i missed you!!! i had the longest day yesterday that it felt like two days:)

I got back from Dubai last night. and the test went OK.. they said they’ll let us know the results in “three to four business days”.

I LOVED the place. the Unilever building is brand new, all glass, colorful and everyone was walking around there in jeans and sneakers. haha .. this is like my dream place to work in. I DIDN’T KNOW IT EXISTED

anyway, so I went to Ibn Battuta afterwards and bought two pairs of shoes. i did not have energy to do anything else.. but i’m totally in love with my new shoes

ok, i can’t exactly say that yesterday went perfect, because i did, kinda, get lost while trying to get to the place and was late, but it turned out they gave me the wrong map. so it was their fault really. And i did end up losing my phone at the airport. but i had a blast.

oh and by the way, if anyone was interested in that lonelygirl15 crap, well, the jig is up. it was a hoax. there’s this great artical in the L.A. Times that reveals the real story

hmm, you noticed the effect of 8 hours in Dubai? I’m in such a good mood!!! Imagine me living there. haha

love y’all..

I’ve booked a flight to Dubai for tomorrow morning.
I have a test at 10 a.m. for an amazing career opportunity at Unilever. if all goes well, I’ll be qualified for the next step to enter this program.

I’d love to get the job. and i know that only about 2% of people who apply get the chance.

but I’ve come to terms with the fact that whether or not i do get it, its for the best. I’ve decided that no matter what happens, i will NOT get disappointed

AARGH!!! i can’t believe they wonder why…
who? MY PARENTS! thats who..
i CANT believe that my parents wonder WHY the HELL i wanna get the fuck away from them!!
oh how they discourage me from every attempt to find a job or scholarship to just get as far away from them as i possibly can.
they go to an extent no one would believe.
they constantly disparage me! they make me think i’m not good enough and that i would never get what i want. cause i’m just “average”. why think big? why be different? why aim for bigger things. why grab an opportunity when it hits me SMACK IN THE FACE ? WHY?? it never makes sense to them why … am i from another planet? am i different?? why ?????? why do i feel so alone?? WHY!!!!!

- be born
- go to school
- go to college
- get a job
- get married
- have children
- raise them to be as dull as you are
- then when you’ve passed down the ignorance.. you then DIE

IT DEPRESSES THE SHIT OUT OF ME WHEN I THINK OF MY LIFE.
WHY DON’T I JUST CUT OUT THE MIDDLE PART AND FAST FARWARD TO THE DEATH PART!!
JUST PULL THE FUCKING TRIGGER AND GET IT OVER WITH.

cause its pointless to think big or even plan anything worthwhile!!

god i hate my family sometimes.

Just for fun, i went to this link www.dayofbirth.co.uk, and this is what i got.

Results for 16th May 1983 :

- You were born on a Monday.
- Your star sign is Taurus.
- The season was Spring.
- You are 23 years, 3 months, 22 days old.
- It is 251 days until your next Birthday.
- You are 8,515 days old.
- You are approximately 204,382 hours old.
- You are approximately 735,778,169 seconds old.

my thoughts:

- i smiled when i found out that i was born on a monday cause i remembered how Garfield hates mondays haha.
- Duh I’m a Taurus. Love taurus traits. Hate taurus traits. (typical taurus; moody)
- laughed when i read that it was spring ’cause in Bahrain we have only two seasons: So-hot-that-you-wanna-kill-yourself season and jacket-weather-spit-of-rain-occasionally season.
- I’m 23, 3 months and 22 days old. sounds about right.
- 251 days till more presents
- I am 8,515 days old. OH MY GOD. why do i feel like im 22 days old? am i not supposed to be
wise and smart and i dunno, i should know what I’m doing right?
- 204,382 hours old? i slept through most of it. jeeeez what have i been doing with my
time?!?!?!?!? shouldn’t have i ACHIEVED something??
- 735,778,169 seconds old. I’m old

Do not visit that site. it is NOT for the Weak-hearted.

evil EVIL website!!!

So there’s this phenomenon on Youtube and its just kept me thinking for a couple of days.
this Girl, bree, aka lonelygirl15 has like a video blog.

Now, this is completely normal, right? nothing strange about it. but i feel like this:

“For some reason, i find myself watching these videos. I have no idea why. Honestly i have a life and i enjoy it. I am only a small time youtuber, But why the hell do i watch these videos?”

which is how most people watching bree’s vlog feel.

Anyway, her story’s like this. she’s home schooled because her parents are religious. I personally don’t see what the link is, but in one of her videos she was talking about how she went to school once and she described her classroom by saying that it had a door in the front and a door in the back. she talked about how the kids would go in and out from the back door. her parents then found out about that and they took her out of school. But that just sounds like they’re waaaay too protective of her.

Ok ok!! i know its corny and everything. but i promise, it gets better.

so she keeps talking about her best friend Daniel a.k.a. DanielBeast. now this Daniel person is mostly talked about in the beginning, because he supposedly set up her account and teaches her how to edit her videos and stuff. but then when people start asking her to see him, she catches him on camera. so after that, it got normal to see daniel in the background, reading on her bed. (notice that her parents are religious and a boy is in her room). whatever, right? ok anyway, so people keep saying that Daniel looks Jewish and that bree isn’t. then in one of her videos she talks about how he told her he liked her. you know, regular boy girl stuff.

whats weird about this girl is that she keeps talking about how religious she is and she’s going to her religion’s summer camp and this ceremony that she’s been chosen to participate in. but she never mentioned what her religion actually is.

ok, so this is when it got interesting. Last night, i watched this video where’s she’s trying to force daniel to tell her something.

so forget the whole conversation they’re having and fast forward to minute 1:52 and pause it. look at the picture on the wall. and the candles underneath the picture which daniel is not allowed to light. so according to alot of people’s comments, its a picture of Aleister Crowley ..

if you are not sure, click here for a better view.

to be honest, when i read his name, i didn’t know who the hell Aleister Crowley was, and when i read the comments, it seemed that people thought he was a “Satanist” and was “Hitler’s personal advisor on the occult”. isn’t that interesting??

So then I turned to my trusty Wiki, it turned out that he created this religion called Thelema. And he wrote this book called “The Book of the Law” ..
also, Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin has largest personal collection of Aleister Crowley and you’d be surprized how many rockers are among his followers.

the weirdest thing about this dude is umm everthing. the first sentence in Wiki was

“was an occultist, Freemason, prolific writer, mystic, hedonist, and sexual revolutionary.”

So after the OOhing and the AAhing, people started thinking that she’s a fake. like its a hoax or something, you know, “blaire witch project” kinda thing. And then all the people out there started talking about how the lighting looks professional, and how the editing is pro as well.

i dunno, to be honest, it’d be cool if it were real. and creepy.
In one video, she talks about this ceremony that she’ll participate in. she talks about all these preperations that she has to do. and its just creepy.

but i still don’t get why i keep going back to watch her videos .. grrr!!!