the curse
has anyone ever died of loneliness?
and if they have, did they die of the pain or from some odd eating disorder?
I am living proof of one of the most vicious cycles ever known to man.
The curse of the fat girl:
i live
i eat
i sulk
i eat
i sulk
i gain
i sulk
i eat
i sulk
i gain
i sulk
i eat
etc..
I’m not blaming anyone for this.. i have lots of people to blame, but I’ve decided to take responsibility for my actions.
I’m not blaming the majority of the human race for finding fat repulsive. i find it repulsive myself.
I’m not blaming clothes designers and manufacturers for making clothes for skinny girls. the stuff they make look better on skinny girls.
I’m not blaming the people that throw random hurtful brutal comments at fat people in the streets/at the mall/at school/work/home wherever. i secretly have these thoughts about fat people myself.
I’m not blaming all the guys in my life who say that I’m “one of the guys ’cause you’re so cool” every day of my life and then ask me to hook them up with a friend of mine. i wouldn’t want to be with me either.
I’m not blaming my mum for calling me a cow at my most vulnerable. I am a cow.
its painful. but i don’t blame any of these people.
maybe its my personality thats shitty. lol
oh dear friends, I am sure everyone in my life knows how much i need somebody to love me. but you know what? if there was someone who loves me. i wouldn’t believe them.
p.s. I am not looking for compliments. this is my way of venting. so fight the urge to lie to me. and for those who wish to put me down furthermore, fuck off with all my heart!!!
